​​​​​My personal philosophy...

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If you have clicked on this part of my site, thank you for taking the time to hear my voice and my "why". 

 

It took courage to write this, but I feel called to share this part of me, because how can I share my art without sharing the way it was formed within me? 

 

The torrents of my own life experience have lead me to the brutal truth of how messy, painful, beautiful and how f**g hard the human experience can be.  Yet, within the chaos, there is so much beauty and this is what I am so intrinsically drawn to.  My intention to write this is twofold, one to share my why but also I hope that it might resonate with anyone else who has felt different, odd, a misfit, square peg round hole-ish.  You are not alone.

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I have always been a bit different, a bit awkward. (I still am). 

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At school I was the one climbing the trees and hanging out with the boys and jumping in the puddles and being fascinated by nature.  Often the one left out from the 'girl group' I would sit on my own at lunch break, or as I got older, the party.

I never really felt like I fitted in with the world and I realize that I was possibly viewed as a bit weird by my peers. I remember having this sense that I never got the "memo" on how to be or exist in the world.  

 

As isolated as I felt socially, at the time I would actually feel quite happy on my own watching time and the world unfold. I was a daydreamer (and still am). 

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It was only social expectation that whispered mean things in my ear that I should be something other than who I was, who I am.   

 

For as long as I can remember I have always been drawn to human connection.

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It's only with time that I now have the words to describe how intensely I experience the world and recently I have learnt that part of this is because I have a different kind of brain. 

 

Yes, I know that it's a bit of a trend to be diagnosed as on the spectrum but for me this was life changing, I was able to make sense of myself and my relationship with the world around me. My diagnosis brought me a level of acceptance and an answer to why social situations were challenging for me and why I felt so different.  For me, it made sense of why I felt things so much more intensely than most (both good and bad). I now accept this to be who I am and it means that I am gradually becoming more at peace with my self.  

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The te reo Māori word is Aroreretini meaning ‘attention goes to many things’.  I'm grateful there is a growing understanding that ADHD/Autism seems to be more about having an abundance of attention, rather than a deficit of it.

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Now I am quite happy to wave my weird flag. 

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Prior to the journey of understanding myself, social situations were infused with so much anxiety and this is still the case, but I can now manage them better.  Most people have the ability to drown out parts of the environment they are in, but for me there is still so much stimulation surrounding me on a daily basis.  Sounds, tonal changes in voices, textures, body language, words, music, jokes (that I often didn't get) it all felt a lot, too much to take in, so I can look back and see that as a child I chose to quiet my brain by withdrawing from fitting in to just observing. And being a day dreamer.

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This is where creativity planted it's seed in me.  

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Like many children who grew up in the 70's, I was raised in a family with parents who were told not to spoil their kids with affection, attention or time.  I was left on my own a lot, so as a small child I created my own little world.  I felt safe in the large macrocarpa tree to the side of the house, in the garden looking at the insects, with my pets and I'd watch the moon out my window as I fell asleep at night. I wanted nothing more than to be hugged, to be told that I was loved, worthy and valued but because of my parents own life experiences, I now understand they weren't able to give this to me.  So I think in some way, I lived vicariously through the moments of others.  When my parents would have others over for gatherings, I would visually devour the human connection that I felt I lacked.  I would just drink it all in. 

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I'm so grateful that we now understand the importance of the informative years on a child's brain development.  That we now know how crucial love and affection is to a child's brain and emotional attachment. 

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But. We now have to compete with a torrent of challenges. Parents are working longer hours to keep up with the mortgage and the cost of living and our attention is being taken away by social media.  

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So, with this being said, my photography is a personal revolution of sorts.

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My photography isn’t just about taking pictures; it’s a personal revolution created to inspire change and challenge the world as it currently is.  I want to dismantle the superficial portrayal of life and challenge why we seem to feel motivated to project perfection when it comes to the photos that we take.  

 

Life, relationships, families are anything but perfect, the reality is that the human experience is messy, chaotic, raw and at times bloody painful.  

 

My work is a call to embrace the complexity of human experience and to find meaning in the everyday, to bring attention to moments that might otherwise go unnoticed. 

 

My photography is about sparking a change in the world.  I've always thought people were often missing the nuances of connection and now, more than ever, I think it is essential we embrace and celebrate normality, rather than perfection. 

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Every image I create, or choose to document is deliberately created to immortalize the significance of a fleeting moment, regardless of it's imperfection. 

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We need to challenge conventional norms of the photographic documentation of life and focus more on authenticity.  To be more real in a world full of fake. 

 

Now more than ever we need to embrace the essence of life by documenting daily life and celebrations with unfiltered honesty.  The documented narrative of life in this decade can't just be of meme's and meals, staged photos or selfies.  We need to leave a legacy of realness.  We need to create photos that incapsulate the love you have as a parent, photos that embody a sense of connection and not just a curated, sanitized version of events. 

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It's a lofty goal, but I want to inspire a shift in perspective, to encourage everyone to see beauty in the mundane and to recognize the significance of each fleeting moment, because the beautiful moments you experience with your loved ones, will one day become tangible memories for years to come. Because the most important stuff in life is not stuff.  It is people and our connections with them. 

 

Let's keep images, real, honest and rich with human connection.  We are here to live, not to consume, we are here to feel, not to feel judged, we are here to be ourselves and not who we are told we should be, so it's time to embrace every single individual for who they are, to honor them with images that reflect their spirit.​